imperfectly beautiful

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I believe in second chances far more than abandonment.

Fewer days thrill me more than those where I can take something that’s been discarded, breathe new life in it, and have it resuscitate the same in me. I’m constantly surrounded by hand me downs, throwaways, secondhand left behinds, and rescues… each by choice. With their used to be past, their visibly less than perfect flaws, and their distinctive individualities, each mirror my own life perfectly.

Popularity is generally temporary fluff. The combination of uniqueness, imperfection, and originality however, will always display a sincere timeless genuine beauty.

I believe in believing.

beneath a blue sky and a green canopy

Moving Forward ©2012

Yesterday marked the end of the first week of 2012. The weather and the day were nearly identical to the week before. Almost to the minute from a week earlier, I drove past a cemetery yesterday that I'd driven by on the afternoon of New Years Eve. On a date generally known for celebrating great hopes and new beginnings, a funeral was taking place. Beneath the largest blue sky was a green temporary canopy providing shade for family, friends, and loved ones who instead were spending this final day of 2011 by saying farewell. There was no champagne, no confetti, and no loud countdown to a brilliant display of lights or fireworks. There was only sunshine, silence, and goodbyes.

I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking quite a bit about those things that I control; and more importantly, those that I don’t. I’m not generally one that’s big on making annual resolutions. A good idea is a good idea. Whether you begin it on January 1 or May 5th is really unimportant. The importance comes from making a healthy decision, committing to the right people, and being honest with myself.

I’ve happily committed to a number of those in recent years. On December 30, I celebrated my second year of sobriety. It certainly would have been far easier for me to wait until January 1. Then I could have bookmarked it as one of those happy, new beginning, resolution kind of things. It couldn’t wait though and neither could I.

I owe it to myself to be surrounded by the right people; to learn how to forgive; to wake in the morning and live the entire day until I lay my head on my pillow at nighttime for a few hours sleep; to smile because I truly mean it; and to move with a forward momentum. I'd like to dance everyday to the music in my head and sing the lyrics ...whether I know all the words or not. I need to leave any random aches from my past where they are and move with one step in front of the other.

I'm responsible for me, so if a large blue sky plans to shine on my day, I refuse to be invisible.

restoring yesterdays

restoring yesterday

Today was one of those kinds of days. It was beyond fabulous and the weather even more so, especially for late December. I spent my entire day working on the restoration of the 1944 dinette table I gave Karen for Christmas. After eight hours, everything on the table had been totally disassembled including every screw. Following hours of elbow grease, steel wool, vinegar, oil, and sunshine most of the chrome was restored and reflecting its original beauty. I still have a bit more to do, but with a little luck and tomorrow’s weather looking even better than today, there's a chance that we’ll celebrate New Years Day with dinner on our new dinette set.

This full cleansing project seemed relevant with today being my two-year anniversary of personal cleansing and sobriety. Last year this date marked an achievement, a celebration, and a hurdle all wrapped into one. I certainly wouldn’t dilute any of those. December 30, 2010 was more than life changing for me. It was reaffirming for me to re-read my post from last year.

Today however seemed more normal. It was a day balanced with fond memories of my making such a life decision and confession two years ago. I know that I’m a better man for having made that decision. Perhaps not better at math, but certainly far better overall.

As usual I drank my share of coffee today and listened to hours of classic rock while restoring that old table. At one point I stopped to take another sip of java and heard the Who sing out “The Kids Are Alright”. They just might be right.